I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
