I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
