Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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