May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
