We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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