are you still at the devil's house?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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