dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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