GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
