Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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