We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
