Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
