I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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