dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
