Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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