i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
