covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
