Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize