I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
