Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
