Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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