well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
