Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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