Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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