what day is it and did you see me today?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
