do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
