Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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