Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
