There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
