Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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