Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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