he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
