she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just blew my weed a kiss
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
