not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
