i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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