get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
