omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
