Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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