bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
