So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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