what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
