Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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