its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
