First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
