quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
