oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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