i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This is the high leading the old right now
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize