Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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