i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
