Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Randomize
