I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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