There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
