I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
