literally had 100 drinks last night.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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