Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
