why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
As shirtless as possible
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
