I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
