i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
