would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
