So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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