Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
