i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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