YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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