Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
