I'm jealous of your bromance
Someone shit on the floor
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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