please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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