I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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