I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
