i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
