i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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