oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
