It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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