I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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