cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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