"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
