new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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