I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
